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Quote from SaskiaJoy on March 16, 2010, 22:14
“How much direct control over the world and people’s lives do you exercise?”

That’s a great question! We believe that God is totally ‘in charge’, but we also believe that we have real choice and make decisions, too. Also, we wonder what kind of ‘controller’ is God if there are earthquakes and tsunamis happening, etc?

I like to use ‘parenting’ language to describe God’s ‘control’ over the world… I think God is best seen as a caring Father. He is always, un-ceasingly active in His world, but He doesn’t ‘micro-manage’ or ‘manipulate’ things in a way that takes away the freedom of the world and humanity. On the other hand, even the very real freedom of the world/humans doesn’t change God’s final, ultimate, over-arching plan for his world.

Like I want my son, Thomas, to grow up and walk, talk, speak and act like me (when I’m at my best!!), our Father God wants us to grow up and walk, talk, speak and act like his Son, Jesus Christ, who is ‘just like’ his Daddy (Colossians 1:15-20). But the point is that God has to give us ‘just enough’ freedom to actually do it ‘on our own’, though never of course apart from God’s loving, guiding, upholding hand?

Hope that makes sense, let me know if it does! And if anyone else has a perspective they want to throw in, go right ahead!!

Blessings,

-d-

Quote from katey on June 2, 2010, 04:27
How do I find love again with my husband if my heart is with another.

That’s a very honest and real question katey.

Recently I interviewed a long-standing ‘mature’ couple in our church, and the wife shared vulnerably, openly and transparently about a season in their marriage where she did not feel ‘in love’ with her husband. She didn’t say if there was another person or anything, but said that the patient, committed love of her husband helped carry her through that season.

The reason I mention it is not because it’s a direct link to your situation (it isn’t), but because I really think acknowledging our feelings is important – which you’ve done.

The wording of your question indicates to me that part of you wants to ‘find love again’ with your husband, while another part of you (your ‘heart’) is drawn to another.

There are a thousand and one things that can be said – but the most obvious thing is that these things aren’t like flicking a switch, as you no doubt are aware. One thing that comes to mind would be to find ways to invest in your relationship with your husband as opposed to with this other person. The more the flame of desire is fanned with this other person, the harder it will be to restore things with your husband?

The MAIN thing I’d say is to find someone who will support you in your desire to restore things with your husband. You should not do this on your own. We all need encouragement and community – especially to do things that are very difficult. And it really needs to be flesh-and-blood, eye-contact kind of relationship to be truly helpful. Churches (at their best) are places where this kind of support can be found. We just interviewed an adult female counsellor this past Sunday night who would be an excellent person to talk to. Please email me (dale@nbc.org.nz) if you’d like her name? I really want you to be able to find some support!

Praying for you,

Dale